The Hearts Wants, What It Wants
by NatsuD45
Summary: What if Kaneki never met Touka or anybody when he became a ghoul. What if he met them in a different way. Kaneki Ken lives his life as a half ghoul, trying to live his life from avoiding ghouls but that's impossible for him when they are drawn to him or the other way round. And What is with Uta and why does he want to see Kaneki so much and what is hidden in that smile of his.
1. Smell

**Title : The Hearts Wants, What It Wants**

**Theme : horror/dark fantasy story**

**Pairing : Kaneki/Uta**

* * *

**Chapter 1 - Smell**

* * *

A young college student sat on his school roof looking up at the sky. It was the usual routine for him. Every day at noon he would come up to look up at the blue clear sky. He didn't like going to college but it was the only think that he thought was normal about him. When he looked up at the sky he felt ease as if something was lifted from him.

"There you are." Kaneki doesn't bother getting up from the ground where he was lying down on. He keeps looking at the sky ignoring his best friend's words.

"You're same as always I see." Hide can't remember when his best friend changed. Maybe it was when he got into that accident or was it somewhere else. Hide didn't even know why his best friend was thinking anymore well most part of him.

Well that's what they all think but the truth is far from that and Kaneki can't even tell his friend the truth. If he did Hide would be in danger and Kaneki couldn't let anything happen to somebody he cares about.

Hide lays down beside his best friend. The blond wonders what's so interesting looking up in the sky. There's nothing there but the blue sky that doesn't interest the blond but to his best friend there something else that he doesn't see.

"Hide I'm leaving." Kaneki says once he gets up with a smile on his face. Hide hates when Kaneki does that. Whenever his best friend is like this he has to try to stop him. There was a time that Kaneki almost quit college but Hide convinced him otherwise. Hide feels that Kaneki is hiding something from him, he knows since he has known Kaneki for a long time now but he doesn't push it.

Hide is just happy that Kaneki decided to stay and attend college even if he does leave in the middle of lunch every now and then. Hide lets out a sigh and leaves to follow his best friend and see where the boy has disappeared to.

It is still lunch time so they still have plenty of time till classes start but knowing Kaneki, he knows that he won't attend class but go back home and school.

"You're not going to graduate if you keep skipping your classes." Hide says this every time but Kaneki doesn't listen.

"_There isn't a reason for me to graduate." _Kaneki has always thought this way since he was found out that he is a half ghoul, what life a ghoul can have. If Hide found out what he was he wonder what kind of reaction he would have. Would it be a frighten one or something completely different from what he thought, either way there was no way that Kaneki was going tell him that he was a ghoul.

Kaneki was happier when he didn't know anything. He was happy living as a human not thinking anything but living a normal life but he couldn't anymore since he wasn't normal and not a human for starters.

"There was a fight again." As Hide and Kaneki walked by some students they heard some girls talking about the incident that has been happening a lot in the other part of the city. It seems some gangs groups have been fighting. Kaneki wonders why the police aren't doing anything to stop the fights.

"It's those fights again." Hide says. Kaneki and Hide don't go to that part of the city but it is still close to Kaneki's home but not so close that he would ever go by the area. "Be careful when you walk home."

"I can take care of myself."

* * *

Kaneki didn't attend the rest of his classes and headed toward the direction of his home but he got a bit hungry so he stopped by a café that he came in often with Hide. Anteiku is a café that many comes that includes ghouls. The café isn't just a normal place people come in since the café is also run by ghouls. Kaneki knows it since he can smell who are ghouls and not but they can't tell that he is one too.

Kaneki sits down and orders his usual and takes out a book out from his school bag and starts to read. As he reads he notice many people come and go. The place is peaceful and the ghouls who run the café don't do any harm to humans so Kaneki finds it alright.

"The young man comes here often." The manager of the shop turned to his waitress who was standing in the counter watching the boy as he read his book.

"That's true."

"What's wrong?" The manager asked.

"He comes here often but I can't tell if he's one of us or them." Touka says.

"That is something that is confusion." Even the manager found it strange that he couldn't tell the boy apart from ghouls and humans. He should know but he doesn't.

The time went by and it was getting late. Kaneki didn't even realize until Hide came through the front door of the café.

"Can't you try answering your phone?" Hide didn't look happy. Kaneki grabbed his phone from his right pocket on his pant and saw missed called by Hide. This had happened before, he was so interest in his book that his mind didn't think of anything else.

"S-orry." Kaneki tried to pretend like it was not a big deal but Hide took it another new level.

"You owe me one." He smiled. Kaneki didn't like it, whenever he had to owe Hide something it wasn't a good thing and it meant not a good thing for him.

* * *

Later night Kaneki was walking home but there was a lot of traffic going on and he didn't want to wait till the traffic died down so he had no other choice but to take the route that he never would have took. The route that always had those gang fights.

Kaneki walked through the alleyway and there he stopped since he saw the rumored gang fights going on. It was more like one guy was standing there not caring what was happening to him while the others looked at him extremely angry.

"What is that guy doing?"

"Are you listening?" One of the men wasn't pleased with the way the guy in the middle of acting. The guy was acting like he was thinking about something. Kaneki could tell that every one of the guys there were ghouls, of all the things why it had to be ghouls.

As Kaneki stood there watching the whole scene he noticed the guy in the middle's appearance. He had various tattoos and piercing. From the way the man looked, it was like he was bored. Kaneki saw another guy appear and without thinking Kaneki opened his mouth.

"Look out!" Kaneki quickly covered his mouth. Why did he open his mouth? It was none of his business. It was too late since the gang noticed him. The man in the middle manage to dodge the attack that was from the attacker. The man then knocked the whole gang out.

The man turned to look back at Kaneki. He walked toward the college boy Kaneki didn't know why but he felt a bit afraid of the man before him. From the looks of it the guy looked older than him.

"Thanks for helping me out there." The man smiled. The smile looked like a real smile, it didn't seem like the guy was going to kill him or anything. "By the way I'm Uta." He said. "What is your name?" There wasn't a harm to say his name so he open his mouth.

"I'm Kaneki Ken." Suddenly Uta started sniffing the boy and Kaneki didn't understand why the older male was doing such a thing, it was strange.

"Uta-san."

"You smell a bit strange." He said.

When Kaneki got home he got a shower thinking that he smelled bad but after he was done with the shower he thought maybe ghouls smell things different from humans. It was still a bit funny that Uta sniffed him like some dog, Kaneki couldn't stop thinking about it but there was still something scary about the man. He looked kind but Kaneki couldn't put it in words but there was something about the man that scared him a bit.

"Why am I thinking of somebody I won't see again?"

After the shower Kaneki ate some dinner. Kaneki isn't like most ghouls so he can eat normal human food that won't make him throw up. After that he headed to his bed and laid down there and closed his eyes and drifted to sleep.

* * *

"What?" Kaneki repeated his words to Hide.

"I'm busy with my project so I want you to get something I order from a shop called HySy ArtMask Studio."

"I guess this is what I owe you, huh." Kaneki didn't have a choice but the black-haired student would rather be in the café reading his book. Hide wrote something on a piece of paper and handed it to his best friend.

"It's not hard to find but to be safe."

"What am I a kid?"

Kaneki took the piece of paper from Hide and left the college. Like Hide said it wasn't hard to find but why was it so hidden. It was like from some creepy movie. The entrance to the shop was creepy as well, in the window was masks that could be called creepy by most people, there was hours of operation and also lists of things he makes.

Just then Kaneki heard a set of footsteps and saw a familiar face. It was the girl that worked at the café that Kaneki usually went to read at.

"You're that customer." She said as she pointed at Kaneki. Kaneki thought it would be better saying it without pointing fingers at him.

"Did you have business here too?"

"Yea." Kaneki wanted to get this over with so he walked into the shop followed by the girl inside. Kaneki looked around the shop but couldn't find anybody in the shop.

"Is the shop owner here?" He called out.

"Uta-san." Touka called out.

"_Uta-san." _Kaneki thought he heard that name somewhere before. Kaneki then saw a white sheet of cloth and it looked like it was covering something. Kaneki was curious so he opened it then somebody sat there staring at him.

"Boo."

Uta was indeed the same man that Kaneki had met the night before and he freaked Kaneki out that he fell to the floor. Touka turned to see what was going on.

"What are you doing, Uta-san?"

"I thought I would surprise you."

Uta closed the shop since he had to deal with both Kaneki and Touka.

"You're Kaneki if I'm not mistaken."

"That right, I-I'm Kaneki."

"You smell unusual as before." Uta said as he sniffed the boy once again. Kaneki felt nervous whenever the man sniffed him, did he really smell that unusual.

"Sit there please." Uta pointed to a seat and Kaneki sat as he was told. "You're here to get a mask done, right."

"I'm no-" Uta bend down to reach to Kaneki's level.

"Do you have any allergies?"

"No."

"What about rubber or metal?"

"They're fine."

"Do you want a full-face mask?" Kaneki tried to reply but Uta replied before he could.

"It's your first one, so maybe a half-mask will do instead."

"_He's nothing listening to a thing I'm trying to say."_

"The eye patch is cute." Kaneki didn't think anybody would common about his eye patch, it's been a while. The last time was when he got out from the hospital and Hide asked why he was wearing one after that his classmates also, after some time they stopped asking.

"Do you like them?"

"_There no harm in telling him a little white lie."_

Kaneki took the eye patch out and shown the Uta that his eye was normal and there was harm done.

"When large light hit my right it hurts so to avoid it I keep this thing on."

"I guess that's fine." Uta got up and was now standing. "Kaneki-kun, do you have a girlfriend?"

"Huh, no I don't."

"That's good then."

"Huh?"

"_What are with these questions?"_

In the end Kaneki finally manage to tell Uta what he came for from the help from Touka and still he got a mask made for him but Uta had explained that he would come see him or that Kaneki should see him again and in the end Kaneki gave the man his number unwilling of course since Uta took it upon himself to do so.

"_All I came here was to get a simple thing." _Kaneki was tired from the long day so he decided to deliver Hide's parcel tomorrow and plus it is a day off.


	2. Mask

**Title : The Hearts Wants, What It Wants**

**Theme : horror/dark fantasy story**

**Pairing : Kaneki/Uta**

* * *

**Chapter 2 - Mask**

* * *

Kaneki was making himself some lunch. It was his day off, if he was a normal college student he would be studying for a test or something but not anymore. But he still has the habit of reading novels since that's the only thing he still does that is normal. As he finished making some Indonesia noodles he put in a small bowl and took a can of coke out from the fridge and sat in front of the television. Just then Kaneki was going to dig in his cell phone rang which annoyed him, why did it have to ring when he was having his lunch.

Kaneki let out a sigh then picked his cell phone and saw it was Hide calling. His best friend probably wanted the parcel he ordered but still such bad timing to call.

"Hello." Kaneki said putting his cell phone close to his shoulder so he wouldn't drop it as he ate his lunch.

"Kaneki, are you eating right now?"

"If you know don't ask." Kaneki then took a sip of the can of coke he had.

"Did you get the thing I asked for?"

"Yea."

Kaneki and Hide met up at the same café they were at yesterday. Kaneki had a bag with him, inside was the thing that Hide had asked him to pick up.

"What is this?" Kaneki asked handing the bag over to Hide.

"It's a mask." He said.

"Why do you need a mask?"

"It's for the project I'm doing, unlike you I like to keep myself busy." Hide took the mask from the bag. It was any ordinary mask that you would fine.

"How did you even find such a place?" Kaneki couldn't get his mind off of that place. Not to mention that guy who was running that place.

"There's a cute girl there." Hide pointed to the waitress. It was the girl who Kaneki had also bump into yesterday.

"Excuse me!" Touka turned her head when she heard somebody calling her.

"One cappuccino, please! And you, Kaneki?"

"I'm good."

"One cappuccino." Touka said as she wrote it down on her note pad she had in her hand.

"And also, what's your name?" Hide had to be so blunt.

"I'm Kirishima Touka."

"Miss Touka, Are you seeing anybody?!" Kaneki couldn't believe his best friend. Saying something so direct and to a girl.

"Stop that, you idiot!" Kaneki could see the blush on the girl's face and how embraced she looked. Touka ran off and Hide had an expression saying that he completed his task.

Kaneki's eyes went to the television and on it there was news about accidents that were happening. That reminded the black-haired college student about the day that he got into that accident and got turned into a ghoul. He was naïve to think everything was going well that night when he walked the girl he had fallen for home but instead the girl attacked him but he was somehow saved and the girl died but in the end he became this thing.

"What you thinking about?" Hide asked. Kaneki didn't realize he was deep in thought.

"It's nothing."

"You're thinking about that girl that you liked aren't you." Hide said. "I don't understand how fast you lost feeling for a girl that moved away." That's right Kaneki had told a lie to Hide saying the girl he had fallen for moved away to another city.

"It just wasn't meant to be." Kaneki said. The news on the television have been the same for some time now which made Kaneki worried. There were a lot of ghouls out there that would attack others like Rize did to him.

Just then the doorbell rang and a little girl and an older lady who looked like her mother walked in. They went to the front to talk to the owner of the shop. Kaneki could tell they were ghouls right away but he ignored it since it was nothing to do with him.

"I have to go meet someone." Hide said looking at his watch on his wrist.

"Who?" Kaneki asked.

"Oh I haven't mention but I've been helping Nishio-san with his work." Hide packed his bag and put over him which swung to the side. "Do you want to come?"

"I guess." Kaneki said. He only agreed to go because he knew that Nishio was a ghoul and he could hurt Hide and he didn't want anything bad to happen to his best friend. Kaneki saw the guy around the campus but they never interacted.

"I've been meaning to introduce him to you, Kaneki."

"You mean Nishio-san."

"Yea him."

* * *

The two were walking down the hall in the college until they stopped at one of the door. Hide didn't even knock on the door before announcing their arrival. A scream came and a girl came running out the room.

"Nagachika, ever heard of knocking?"

"Sorry, Nishio-san."

"You know, nothing ticks me off more than a violation of territory." Nishio said tiling his glasses up a bit. The senior then turned around to look at the two boys.

"Oh, this is Kaneki, the good friend I mention before." Hide said introducing Kaneki to the older male. An unpleasant feeling overcame Kaneki and he didn't like it one bite. The senior looked at him like he knew what he was but that was impossible, wasn't it.

"You don't say." Nishio said as he got up from his seat and walked toward the two. Nishio put one his hands over Kaneki's shoulder. "I'm Nishio Nishiki, a second year in the School Of Pharmacy." His eyes looked at him with a cold tone. "Nice to meet you, Kaneki." Kaneki knew he wasn't seeing things, this guy knew exactly who he was.

"_Everywhere I go there are ghouls." _Kaneki didn't like it one bite. _"No it was always like this, just I wound up in this mess."_

"Nagachika, go get me a drink."

"Are kidding me?"

"Do I look like I'm kidding?" Nishio glared at his junior. Nagachika didn't have a choice so he left the room leaving the two alone.

"You're a ghoul, aren't you?" Nishio stared at Kaneki without looking away. "You're one but you smell different."

Kaneki knew there would be a time when somebody would find out but he didn't think it would be by somebody in the same college as him. He walked passed this guy many times and nothing has happened maybe that's was his mistake. He should have avoided such thing.

"Don't look at me like that." Nishio didn't like the way Kaneki glared at him and only knew why. "I won't do anything to your friend."

"And I should believe you."

"I guess you don't." He laughed it off like it was nothing.

"I don't need him since I already have my supple."

Hide came back with a drink for Nishio. He looked at Kaneki then back at Nishio, he wonder what happened since the two were so quiet.

* * *

Later that evening Kaneki had just bought a novel from a bookstore and was heading back home. His mind was still on Nishio since it worried him that Hide would be in danger and he didn't trust the guy but there was something that told him maybe he's not bad but looks can be deceiving.

"I better hurry home." He said. He looked up in the sky and thought it was going to rain soon, as he started walking he stopped in the middle of the road. He smelled blood and he didn't like the smell one bite. It was a familiar scent where did he smell it before. Just then he saw a familiar little girl running and she had tears in her eyes. The smell was coming from her.

Kaneki promised himself that he didn't want to get involved with other ghouls but it was too late when his legs started moving and stopped in front of her.

"It's okay." He smiled. Kaneki didn't think he would revealed who he is to a little girl but he did. Since it was the only way the girl would trust him and not be afraid since she was looking scared as she was. Kaneki bend down and showed the girl his ghoul side.

The girl took Kaneki to the place where the blood was coming from. The smell was heavier than it was before. There Kaneki saw it the woman that the little girl was with when she came to the café that afternoon but this time the woman was no more. The little girl started crying his Kaneki's arms.

Kaneki took the girl back to the café. He didn't know what he should do. He didn't want to reveal who he was that's when he got an idea. He went to see the man who he didn't want to see.

Kaneki stood outside the shop of the place that man owned.

"Stay here." Kaneki told the little girl. "By the way what's your name?" He asked.

"Fueguchi Hinami." She spoke.

"I'm Kaneki Ken." Kaneki walked in the shop, just like the first time Uta was nowhere to be seen. The college student was thinking the man hiding somewhere like last time.

"Uta-san, are you here?" Kaneki called out." I came here to pick the mask up." The man didn't appeared even after calling the guy's name so many times. Just then Kaneki turned around and there Uta was staring at him, it freaked the boy out that he ended up screaming like last time.

"Can't you appear like a normal person?"

"You came to get the mask." He said.

"Yes."

Uta handed the Kaneki the mask. When Kaneki saw the mask he was surprised. It was a half-face mask and it was strange looking. Uta had created it well for him, it matched the college student well and his face would be hidden well.

"Do you know?"

"Know what?" Uta replied.

"Never mind." Kaneki said as he took the mask and walked out the shop.

"Hinami, let's take you home since I have some business to attend." It was late and saw the café was closing but before they did Hinami arrived with Kaneki when Touka noticed Hinami she came out running that's when he saw Kaneki disappearing.

"I don't know if what I'm doing is right or wrong but I know that humans are the start of all this." Kaneki said as he put his mask on.

After Hinami explained to Touka what happened she had an angry expression on her face. She wasn't happy and now the little girl was all by herself. Humans were to blame for everything and Touka wanted the people who hurt Hinami to feel the pain.

She followed the scent of blood that led her under a bridge. What she saw there was a corpse of a man and she walked closer and saw the man had a wedding ring on his finger. It made the ghoul think that maybe it was good she didn't do anything and good somebody did. This man had a family which sadden Touka. Another thing was on her mind, who was behind all this.

She heard a noise and when she turned saw somebody and he was wearing a mask that covered half of his face. Touka felt like she saw him somewhere before but she hadn't the idea who it was but she felt she knew the person, she would tell the person was a guy.

"Did you do this?" She called out the masked-man. Kaneki didn't think he would find another ghoul and it had to be the girl from the café. He thought he would leave without being notice but she had to spot him just when he was about to leave. Kaneki didn't say a word but just nodded his head.

"Thanks." Touka said. She felt that maybe Hinami would feel better now the person who killed her mother had justice serve but inside Touka wasn't that glad since the man had a family himself.

* * *

Kaneki got home and laid on his bed. He didn't know why he did what he did today. He killed a man, a human, somebody he used to be. He felt guilty about it. He was hesitation when he faced with the man and plus the man wasn't alone.

"_I thought I would have a peaceful day." Mado said with a smirk. Kaneki didn't like the way the man spoke. He then saw the other guy with him take out his weapon. Both of them were going to take him out but he wasn't going to let that happen. He manage to dodge their attacks,_

"_Why did you kill her?" Kaneki yelled. "She didn't do anything to be killed for._

"_That has nothing to do with it." Mado said. "Ghouls are supposed to be dead." Kaneki didn't like this thinking. When he was human himself what did he think of ghouls, he didn't think since he wasn't aware of such facts._

"_Ghouls deserves to die." Amon said._

"_I wonder who the real monster here is." Kaneki couldn't just dodge the two all the time. He stopped and attacked the older guy first. After gaining new abilities he gotten stronger. He didn't want to kill the man but he left Kaneki no choice._

_Kaneki released his kagune and aimed at Mado. Mado tried to block his attack but Kaneki was stronger than that. He was smarter to he pretended to strike at Amon but attacked the senior once again killing him slowly._

"_What did you do?" Amon yelled. Amon ran toward his senior with worried look._

"_I don't like killing but if you harm somebody then I won't hesitate to strike." Kaneki said. Kaneki didn't feel like killing the man so he stopped there._

"_You're not killing me."_

"_I told you I don't like killing." Kaneki repeated his words. Amon didn't like how Kaneki looked at him and the way he said his words angered the tall man. Amon's took out his weapon and attack Kaneki but the boy dodged it with no problem._

_Kaneki had no choice so he attacked the man but didn't injure him that bad. His only injury was his right ear that was bleeding._

"_I'll say it again I'm not going to kill you so you should before I really start get serious."_

_Amon had no choice since he knew he was no match even with his ear the pain was bad. He ran off leaving Mado's body but he swore he would come back with others._

"This mask came in handy but I rather not use it again."

* * *

Kaneki attended his classes the next day but he didn't pay much attention to what the teacher was saying. He was tired from yesterday since he came home late and he still couldn't believe the things he did for that little girl.

When class was finished he was going go straight home and have a nap but stopped when he saw a crowd in the front entrance.

"What's going on?"

"Kaneki, you're going home." One classmate said.

"Yea, but what's going on here?" He asked.

"Some person appeared and girls started gathering."

"_Somebody popular." He thought._

Kaneki went closer to have a look and saw it was Uta but he looked a bit different. He looked more dressy and his eyes, it hit Kaneki right now. All the other times Uta had red eyes like ghouls but now he had blue.

"_Did he know I was a ghoul too because I wasn't aware such facts."_ Kaneki couldn't believe it.

"Kaneki-kun." Uta waved when he spotted the younger boy. Uta had a smile on his face. "I came to see you."

All eyes went on Kaneki. Kaneki didn't know why the shop owner wanted to see him but he knew he didn't want the attention he was getting because of Uta.

The two were walking around the city and Kaneki tried to walk as far away from Uta as possible since he could see the people staring at him and he didn't like the attention.

"Why are you walking so far away from me?" Uta asked. "Come closer."

"I rather not." Uta couldn't help but laugh at Kaneki's response.

"_Why does Uta want with me?"_

"Kaneki." Uta said stopping the black-haired college student in his track. His voice turned serious and it was the first time he heard Uta like that.

"What is it?" Kaneki asked.

"I smell the blood on you." Kaneki knew know that Uta really knew who he was. Uta walked closer to Kaneki and sniffed the boy just like the first day they had met. "With this smell many ghouls could find you."

"You knew."

"Yes and others will too if you don't conceal yourself property." Uta licked his lips and then stared Kaneki in his eyes. "You're a rare find so others would want to know more about the one-eye ghoul."

"_Is that what they are calling me now?" _Kaneki thought Nishio was the only one who knew but he guess wrong, he had to try to be careful from now on. He still couldn't trust anybody that wasn't a ghoul.

"By the way, why are you wearing clothes like that?" Kaneki asked.

"Why?" Don't you like them?"

"It's not that but you look kind of different."

"I wanted make a good impression when I arrive at your college."

"_You made an impression alright."_


	3. Help

**Title : The Hearts Wants, What It Wants**

**Theme : horror/dark fantasy story**

**Pairing : Kaneki/Uta**

* * *

**Mr. Ghoul - Thank you and i wanted to try to make this Kaneki different from the weak one but that doesn't mean he doesn't have a weak side.**

**Jen - Thanks i'm glad to hear that.**

**thanks for reviews.**

* * *

**Chapter 3 - Help**

* * *

"Kaneki-kun, you live alone." Uta asked. Kaneki didn't know why he went back with the ghoul to his shop. The man had come to his college surprising the boy and telling him they needed to talk, they were talking alright but it wasn't anything important.

"I do." Kaneki replied.

The two were in the back of the shop where Uta really lived in. The shop was also his home which Kaneki didn't know. The boy was also wondered why Uta even bothered to talk to him, what was so interesting about him. Uta gave the young boy some tea to have while he do some things, Kaneki rather go home but it didn't seem like Uta would let him leave anytime soon.

"Looks like the mask come in handy." Uta said holding the mask that he had made for Kaneki. He looked it up and down to see if anything was rip. "I was right to choose this kind of mask for you." Uta then sat beside the young boy and saw the boy hadn't touch the tea that he had made for him.

"You don't like it." He asked.

"It's not that." He said.

"You'll have be careful with the ghoul investigators going around the city."

Kaneki the recalled the guy he took out and the one he let live. Kaneki didn't think he had it in him to kill somebody but he did it, he still regrets it since Kaneki has never killed anybody before and it was surprised to him what he was doing, the ghoul inside him took over.

"You're half-human, I see." Uta said. Kaneki didn't even tell the ghoul yet he already knew about him.

"How did you know?" He asked.

"I know a lot more than you know." Uta then saw the stare that Kaneki gave him. The boy wanted know more even without the boy saying anything. "You want to know, am I right."

Kaneki didn't want to admit it but what Uta said was true. He wanted to know the things that he didn't know, about the ghoul in him and much more.

"Do you know about Rize?"

"I know that fact that you were with her before she died."

"How do you know that?"

"I just walked by you and her and I have to say you have bad tastes."

"_I don't want to hear that."_

Kaneki was naïve to believe that all people were not ghouls. He never thought he would meet a ghoul in the first place. He never dreamed that the girl he fell in love with would try and eat him but look like luck was on his side when the building came crumbling down, but what Kaneki didn't like was he himself turned into a ghoul without a ghoul what to do, he had to live his life like everything was fine. He even skipped college because of it.

"Kaneki-kun, you don't have to worry so much." Uta could read the boy like a book. Kaneki knew there was something the older male was hiding but he could find out those things later, right now he had live his life like it was normal.

"Uta-san, when you speak I can't take you serious since you speak like you normally do."

"Normal?" Uta just stared at Kaneki. The boy couldn't help but smile since Uta was unlike anybody that Kaneki has ever met before. Uta's expression doesn't seem to change much when he says things.

* * *

Kaneki was walking around town with Hide. They were going to go to the café again but something made the college stop in his tracks.

"Is something the matter?" Hide asked.

"I forgot that I have to go do something." Kaneki waved to his friend and head to the direction where he could smell the blood of a ghoul and a familiar one. The smell led him to a certain alley and there he found him.

"Nishio-san." Kaneki called out. Nishio couldn't see clearly but he could recognized the voice. The voice of another ghoul.

Kaneki manage to drop Nishio to his apartment that he lived but he wasn't looking so good. It was the first time that Nishio looked so bad, he looked nothing like when he first met the guy. Was this the same guy as before?

"Why did you help me?" He asked.

Kaneki didn't have an answer since he didn't know himself but his body moved on his own and his mind was telling him not to leave his senpai alone in that state. The door to his apartment opened and a girl appeared.

"Nishio-kun." The girl called out to Nishio. She had a hime-cut hair style. Nishio fell on the floor of the apartment but the girl caught him into her arms. She then looked at Kaneki and glared at him but he didn't care.

"Kimi, stop it, it wasn't him."

So Nishio told him how Kimi knew about him being a ghoul and how they ended up living together. Kaneki didn't know what to think, he never thought of such things, a human and ghoul.

Kimi then told Kaneki that she decided to stay with Nishio even those he eats human flesh and such. That she would stand by it if he didn't eat her friends or family. Nishio looked really in bad shape that it worried her.

"Is there a way to save him?" She begged Kaneki. To be honest Kaneki didn't know what to think. He didn't know how to help others like Nishio, he meant have with Hinami but that was a different story.

"I want to save him, please." She begged.

Kaneki left Kimi and Nishio, his thoughts went back to see the two together and he couldn't forget the look on the girl's face. She would do anything to be with Nishio, even if it meant to let him eat her.

"How stupid?" Then Kaneki realized something, he didn't know but when he saw Kimi and how hard she was trying he wanted to help the girl.

* * *

Kaneki couldn't believe what he was doing. He snuck into the café late at night of course wearing the mask that was repaired by Uta. He knew that the café had dead corpse hidden away inside for them to manage to live. He couldn't believe what he was doing.

There was nobody around and nobody caught him so he manage to get the things he needed and escape, but he didn't realize a certain café owner was watching the whole thing.

Kaneki gave the food supplies to Kimi who gave it to Nishio but there was something on his mind.

He couldn't just steal again. He didn't even want to in the first place.

* * *

Kaneki was sitting outside in the sun of his college. He was reading a novel so he could get some things off his mind. He then noticed a scent that he didn't really like and it was of a ghoul. This ghoul was somebody that Kaneki didn't like that much.

Tsukiyama Shuu is not a guy that Kaneki likes that much, he's weird and creepy. Kaneki met the guy in the café that he always goes to. He always gave Kaneki that weird stare. Touka didn't seem like she liked him very much either.

"I see you're reading." He spoke as he sat down across from Kaneki. Kaneki choose to ignore the man but it wouldn't help since the guy kept on talking.

"_Why is here?"_

"I'm also a novel reader." He said. Kaneki heard this before. The first time Kaneki was probably impressed but not now anymore. This guy used Kaneki and he hated him for that, he also knew that Kaneki was a ghoul too.

"I have to head out." Kaneki quickly packed all this things and rushed out. He didn't want to be near that guy any longer. Kaneki didn't know when he walked out that Tsukiyama was giving him that stare once again.

Somehow Kaneki ended up at Uta's shop. He wasn't even planning to go there but somehow he just ended up there. He walked in and for once Uta didn't pop out of nowhere and surprise him. This time the ghoul was what looked like working on a mask, it was a mask of a rabbit.

"This is unusual." He said. Uta looked up and saw Kaneki.

"You're here." He said. Uta then notice a familiar smell on Kaneki and he didn't like it. Not many people like Tsukiyama Shuu for he did many bad things that made people hate him and Uta was one of them.

"You were with Tsukiyama Shuu." Kaneki could tell the hate in the tone of voice he used, it was kind of scary, scarier than anything.

"You know him too." Kaneki said.

"Somewhat." Uta replied. He continued to stare at Kaneki and make the mask in his hand. Kaneki was sure that he saw that rabbit mask before then it hit him he remember he saw it at the café when he stole the supplies.

"You shouldn't go near that guy."

"I try but it's him that comes after me." Kaneki said. The college student told Uta about how he met Tsukiyama and how he was at Kaneki's college. Uta didn't like the things that Kaneki said. To think Kaneki met that psycho before him made his blood boil but it made it more boil that he was near the boy in first place but he wouldn't show it on his face.

"Kaneki-kun, you did something stupid, didn't you." Uta said in a gentle voice.

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"I know that you snuck in and stole those food supplies." Kaneki didn't know what to say since it was true he did steal but he had a reason for it. "I know that fact that you can eat normal food so why need those?" Uta continued to question the boy with many questions.

"How did you know?" Kaneki asked dodging Uta's questions.

"I know a lot about you that even you don't know." Uta finished the mask he was done repairing and put it down on the table and turned to Kaneki once more. "If you're not too careful you might end up dead."

Uta wasn't speaking like his usual self. He acted more adult like trying tell Kaneki what he should do or not. Why did he suddenly care anyway?

"_Why the change?"_ He whispered.

* * *

Kaneki was heading home after leaving Uta's shop. Their talk wasn't the usual and it felt awkward around Uta since he kept asking a lot of things that Kaneki ended up leaving and headed home. Kaneki was going to take a shower when he heard footsteps getting closer to his door.

"Kaneki." It was Nishio's voice that was calling his name. Kaneki opened the door to his apartment and there Kaneki saw him and he didn't look so good. He looked healthy but there something else that made his senpai look sick. This didn't look like the guy he just saw yesterday who was about to die. He looked more worried and pale. What had Nishio been doing?

"What are you doing here?" Kaneki asked.

"Kimi, she's missing." He spoke with a dreadful expression on his face.

"What?" Kimi the girl that Nishio was living with suddenly disappeared. Why did Nishio come to him of all the people?

"I know it's strange for me to come to you but I need your help to find her." He said. "I found the scarf she always wore on the foot of our apartment."

Kaneki didn't promise Nishio anything but that he would look into it.

* * *

The next day when Kaneki woke up there was a letter outside his door. Kaneki had a feeling this had to do something with Kimi. He picked the letter up and read it, that's how Kaneki found out who had taken Kimi.

"It just had to be him of all those people, huh." He sighed. He didn't want to do anything with that psycho but he didn't have a choice since a human was involved in all this and this is one things Kaneki can't stand is a human getting hurt in all this.

Kaneki told Nishio about the letter and who had Kimi. The black-haired boy told the weaker looking college student that he would bring his girlfriend back safe and sound but Nishio didn't agree on it.

"I'm coming too." He said with a serious expression on his face. He looked like he was willing to anything for that girl.


	4. Secret Out

**Title : The Hearts Wants, What It Wants**

**Theme : horror/dark fantasy story**

**Pairing : Kaneki/Uta**

* * *

**TheIntriguingCollector - No problem i have fun making it and there more to come.**

** \- I agree with you on that. I have changed some bits and pieces but everything is still the same in a way. Yea i wanted make Uta somebody who would protect Kaneki even if he is strong at times.**

* * *

**Chapter 4 - Secret Out**

* * *

Kaneki and Nishio headed to the destination where the letter had said where Kimi would be. Kaneki hated the fact that guy had her, Kaneki knew that Tsukiyama wasn't somebody a nice guy, he might act nice and all but he has a hidden side that Kaneki didn't like.

The two stood in front of the church. Kaneki could see that Nishio was looking impatient.

"I'm here Kimi." Nishio walked inside and Kaneki followed suit. When the two entered they saw Kimi but her hands and legs were tied and her eyes were covered with a white cloth.

"Kimi!" Nishio yelled. Suddenly the guy that Kaneki hated appeared. He had that smirk on his face, he was enjoying this.

"You bastard!" Nishio yelled.

"How nice of you to join us?" He smiled. Nishio charged toward Tsukiyama but Nishio was still weak and Tsukiyama was giving him a hard time.

"Nishio-san, stop it!" Kaneki tried to stop his senpai but he wasn't listening. He was charging and charging but each time was the same and Nishio was getting hurt more. Tsukiyama was going to punch the hell out of Nishio but Kaneki stepped in and stopped his punch but Kaneki he had a hard time since he wasn't that strong, since he was still learning as a new ghoul.

Tsukiyama manage to punch Kaneki but him glad he was able to protect Nishio but the punch since he didn't know how much longer Nishio would last with his injuries.

"_This isn't good."_

"Kaneki, let me eat you up." This guy was creeping Kaneki out. The black-haired boy's one eye turned red without him doing anything.

"Stop right there!" Kaneki knew this voice, it was the girl from that café. Kaneki turned around and he was right that girl was there.

"_Now she know who I am?"_

"Touka-chan, why are you doing here?"

"I saw you and Nishio together." Touka thought something bad might happen, at the time she didn't know that Kaneki was a ghoul as well and thought that Nishio would eat him or something along those lines.

"I see." He spoke.

"You're a ghoul." She said in a surprised tone. Of course she would be shock since he acted like any normal human would. Well he was human to start with.

"Tsukiyama." Touka said when she looked up at the older man. She didn't like this man like many others like her including Kaneki himself.

Touka saw that Kaneki and Nishio was both hurt then she saw there was a human girl tied up and she knew that man had something to with this all.

"Kimi." Nishio kept repeated his girlfriend's name as many times but the girl didn't reply back to him.

"I would like if you didn't get in my way." Tsukiyama then attacked Touka. Touka got hit by him, she was weak because she had eaten some food that her friend had made her.

"Of all the time why now." Touka could have taken this guy out in second but because of the food that her friend made she was weak. Touka could have refused but because she cares a lot of Kosaka Yoriko.

"Now let me have you Kaneki-kun." Tsukiyama walked closer to where Kaneki was. Kaneki didn't like this one bite. Kaneki got up from where he was. He released his Kagune and attack Tsukiyama but he dodged all the attack Kaneki did.

Tsukiyama released his Kagune and was going to attack Kaneki but a hand had stopped him. When Kaneki looked he saw somebody had saved him.

"Uta-san." Kaneki said in a surprised tone.

"I'm glad that you're not hurt." Uta said. Uta then turned to stare at Tsukiyama, more like glare. Uta was really angry and his looks could kill. With one hand Uta took care of Tsukiyama who went crushing across the room on the ground.

"How come you're here?" Kaneki asked.

"I always know where you are?" He replied. Kaneki looked confused since he didn't understand anything that he meant.

Nishio hurried over to his girlfriend. He untied her and hugged her.

"Are you okay?" Nishio could hear the breathing of his girlfriend and smiled that she was alive and fine.

"Touka, can keep Kaneki's identity a secret?"

"Huh?"

"Uta-san."

"I know that you don't want other to know about you so I want to protect you."

Why did Uta want to protect him?

"Sure I guess." Touka didn't have anything else to say to Uta.

* * *

Kaneki had decided to go home with Uta since it was closer and he needed to get clean up. He kept thinking about how easily that Uta was able to stop Tsukiyama with just one hand. He knew that he needed to get stronger. Next time Uta won't be there to save him.

Kaneki looked in the mirror and looked at himself and saw his red eye had appeared once again. He can never control it that it makes him so mad.

"Kaneki-kun, I put some fresh clothes for you." Kaneki heard Uta shout from outside the bath room.

"Thank you." Kaneki yelled back.

Kaneki got out of the shower and saw the clothes that Uta had placed. It was a white t-shirt, Kaneki looked at it then changed into it. He got out and saw Uta having some coffee.

"How is the clothes?" Uta asked.

"It's a little big on me." Kaneki said.

"I think it suits you well." He smiled. "Come here I made some coffee." Kaneki sat beside Uta and took the coffee that Uta had made for Kaneki and himself.

"I'm glad that you were not hurt."

"Yea." Kaneki involved a human in all this and he felt bad. Plus Nishio was still weak from not eating anything which made it harder for him. He wished he was stronger and able to help them more than he could.

"Uta-san, there something I want you to help me with."

"Sure, what is it?"

* * *

Anteiku was running as normal but now Nishio was working there alongside Touka. Kaneki had asked Uta to help Nishio so he won't go weak again.

"I can't be I have to work with you." Touka looked annoyed.

"Right back at you." Nishio countered his words.

It wasn't a good start for the two but it was the only way that Nishio wouldn't go hungry again since the shop would have food for people like Nishio.

Touka was surprised that Uta had come talk to him about getting Nishio a job. He said it was Kaneki's idea and he wanted what best was for Nishio and make Kimi happy now. Touka had also promised Uta to keep Kaneki's secret, but the teenager wonder why he was hiding it.

Since Touka came the next day with a wound and a new part-timer, it's no wonder that the owner would ask her the reason and plus Nishio was hurt also.

"_Just pretend like nothing happened."_

"Did you know about Kaneki?" Touka asked Nishio when they both had break together.

"Yea." He replied. Nishio pretend not to see him at the college but it was hard not to when he could tell right away he was a ghoul. "You didn't know about him being a ghoul."

"That's why I'm asking you, dumbass." Touka was annoyed.

"What a pain?" Nishio didn't like the way that the younger girl was treating him.

"How wasn't anybody else able to tell he's a ghoul?" Touka wonder about that, she was sure that her manger would have picked it up but he hasn't said anything so that means even he didn't know.

"He's a half-ghoul." Nishio said.

"How is that possible?" Touka looked surprised.

"I don't know the answer to that."

"Uta-san seem to know more about Kaneki, to even protect him." Touka let out a sigh.

"Kaneki-onichan is a nice guy." Hinami entered a room holding a book in her hands.

"You know about him." Touka said.

"He told me not to talk about it but since you already know." Touka then realize what the little girl was trying to say. She recalled that day she found a dead body and not to mention that Hinami had come home.

"Was it Kaneki who saved you?"

"Yes." Hinami said.

"If he saved you then how was he not able to attack Tsukiyama."

"Touka, I told you that he is a half-ghoul so he probably has a weakness." Nishio said.

"How the hell did you even meet him?"

"I would like it if you respected me." Nishio couldn't believe this girl, she was being so rude to him the moment they met. "He attends the same college as me."

"I guess half-ghouls don't have food problem but something else."

* * *

Kaneki was at the college in the library. He was reading a novel rather than studying. He came to the college even those he didn't have classes. He wanted to be where he felt like himself and that was the library.

There wasn't many students so it was peace and quiet. Kaneki thought how he ended up getting involved with many people even those he tried to avoid them. He wanted to ignore them and live a life like a normal human but it was impossible for him.

"_I need a way to get stronger."_

"I wonder how Nishio is doing at Anteiku café." He didn't think that Nishio was the type to work in a café since he's kind of scary sometimes.

Kaneki felt a vibrate and took out his phone from his jacket pocket. It was text from Hide. The text didn't say much but saying that Hide has been looking for a new job. Sometimes it was hard to speak to Hide when he always gave him a strange look and said things like "You seem different" And things like "If you want to tell let me know"

Kaneki couldn't tell Hide the truth. The day he got into that accident, Hide was there when he saw him in trouble and tried to help but he couldn't do anything in the mess. Hide was the first person to visit him, maybe the only since Hide is like family to him since his mother.

"_Sometimes I think that god hates me."_

Kaneki packed up his things and started to get up. He didn't feel like reading anymore. He wanted to do something else, maybe this was a good time to see how Nishio was doing at his job.

* * *

Kaneki arrived at Anteiku café and saw Touka and Nishio arguing. When he entered the shop the bell announced his arrival and the two stopped fighting and saw the black-haired college student.

The first one to approach the boy was the little girl. Hinami looked so happy to see Kaneki. She looked at Kaneki a bit shy but she was happy. She couldn't thank him enough for saving her, if it wasn't for him then she would have been gone.

"Oni-chan, you're here."

"Hinami, right." Kaneki said recalling her name.

"That's right." She smiled. Kaneki was glad that he got her name right.

"You look better than before." He smiled and patted the little girl on the head gently.

"Kaneki, you finally show up!" Nishio didn't look all that happy to see him for some reason.

"Is something wrong?' Kaneki asked in a gentler tone then the one Nishio was giving him right now. He even gave his senpai a smile, even those it was a fake one.

"How dare you leave me here alone with this wiles girl?"

"I can hear everything you say, you damn brat!"

"They don't get along do they?" Kaneki mumbled.

"They been like this since they started working together." Hinami said when he heard Kaneki's small mumble.

The manager came out and saw that Touka, Nishio even Hinami was talking to a certain boy that always came back. He remember this boy, he saw him sneak here before, and even without the mask Yoshimura knew who Kaneki was now. He did wonder why the boy hid about himself.

* * *

Later that evening Yoshimura confronted the college student. Kaneki had a feeling the shop owner knew about him so he didn't try to hide it.

"Is there something you need from me?" Kaneki asked as he turned to face the old man. The man smiled seeing this, the boy wasn't stupid.

"Why are you running away?"

"What are you saying?"

"I can see that you don't want anything to do with people but you already are involved with them." Kaneki couldn't deny what Yoshimura said was true. He liked interacting with these people.

"Are you the reason why Touka came with injuries and brought Nishio-kun?"

"You're smart." Kaneki said. "I won't deny it since it's the truth."

"I can help you." Yoshimura said.

"What?" Kaneki didn't know why the shop owner suddenly asked him some questions and tell him he can help somebody like him.

"I can tell you want to improve." Then again what the man said was true. But that didn't mean that he was going to do as what the man said.

"I'm sorry but I decline." Kaneki started to walk away, he then heard Yoshimura speak.

"If you ever change your mind Anteiku will be waiting for you."


	5. Decision

**Title : The Hearts Wants, What It Wants**

**Theme : horror/dark fantasy story**

**Pairing : Kaneki/Uta**

* * *

**Miachi13, iliveformangaandanime, guest**

**thanks you for your reviews.**

* * *

**Chapter 5 - Decision**

* * *

Kaneki had been thinking about what the old man said. His words were stuck in his mind. Anteiku were a placed run by ghouls for ghouls but even humans go in there. The place was a nice place that didn't involve any danger for anybody.

"You're so lost in your own dream." Uta had surprised the boy like he always did and Kaneki almost fell of the seat he was sitting in.

"Uta-san." Kaneki said in a surprised tone.

"You're cute when you're surprised." Uta said. Here it came again. Uta always said such comments to him. Kaneki didn't understand how the guy wasn't embarrassed when he said such words with a straight face then again Uta always had the same expression no matter what he said.

"What were you thinking about?" He asked.

"It's not that important." Kaneki said but he told Uta since the boy started to trust the guy since he saved him and was there for him. Kaneki wasn't a person who trusted easily after what happened with his mother. His mother was so naïve to trust her sister. It still upset him that he couldn't do anything at the time.

"Yoshimura-san said that." Uta said. Uta didn't seem like he cared but there was something in those eyes but Kaneki couldn't tell what the older male was feeling. Sometimes he never really got Uta. Uta also sometimes helps out with the Anteiku cafe since he makes masks for the ghouls so he goes to the café sometimes.

Uta then decided to change the subject.

"How is your university going?"

"I haven't been going." Kaneki said. He also told Hide that he had been sick that's why he is always away. Hide wanted to visit but Kaneki said it was nothing for him to worry about. He thought maybe he should just quit college sometimes since another part of him inside wants to eat human but his other half stops it.

"Kaneki-kun you look very stress out so you should relax or you will grow white hair." Uta joked. Kaneki couldn't help but laugh with him since the man always made Kaneki feel calm.

It seems like Kaneki been spending a lot of time with Uta not like Uta minded it. Somehow Kaneki was just drawn to this person. It was funny how he wanted to know a bit more about Uta when he wasn't the type to say much about himself.

"I'm going for a walk." Kaneki said. He got up and waved goodbye to Uta.

"Come by anytime." Uta said as he waved goodbye back to the younger boy.

Right after Kaneki had left a woman came in. She looked curious, she had just walked passed the black-haired college student when she was heading inside Uta's shop and wonder who the boy was.

"Who's he?" She asked. Uta didn't answer but stayed silent and prepared to make his next mask. The woman hated when Uta ignored her like this.

"Uta!" She yelled in annoyance.

"Itori when did you get in here?" Uta asked like he didn't know. Itori has been friends with Uta for a long time and he always does this but she can never get use to his personally.

"I asked who that boy was."

"Kaneki Ken." Uta worded his lips. Itori heard of the boy before. He was the one that they found hurt when Rize got killed and the boy somehow survived.

"This is sure interesting." She mumbled.

"Why are you here anyway?" Uta asked.

"That's right I had business with you." She said.

* * *

Kaneki had been walking around the city all day. He went to couple of shops that he loved like those book stores. Kaneki would sometimes stare at people and think which are ghouls and which are humans, there were some Kaneki could make out but some were still hard since he was half. His mind still at Rize in them, he kept remember those times he met her and how he fell for her, what a fool he was. Now he was a ghoul because he fell for her.

He wanted to find the doctor who did this to him but he wasn't anywhere. He search but nobody knew where the doctor had vanished. When he found the man he needed to ask him some things he wanted to know.

"I wonder what I mother would think if she saw me now." He sighed. Kaneki could still hear his mother's sweet voice. She was an angel to him, there was nothing more important to him then her. He was happy as long as she was there but she was too naïve and it killed her. He knew now that all humans are weak like his mother, if he was still human would he also be weak like she was. Now he was a ghoul he was stronger and wouldn't let anybody get in his ways, but he wanted to be way stronger.

"You're spacing up." Kaneki startled from the source of the voice. Kaneki turned around and saw his senpai.

"Nishio-senpai."

"You look surprised."

"It's because I am." If he was there why didn't the guy say something sooner?

"What are you doing here?" Kaneki asked.

"Can't you see I'm shopping?" Kaneki then eyed the bags that his senpai was carrying.

"You're with Kimi, right." Nishio nodded his head in agreement.

"She's around somewhere."

It's funny how much things have changed. Kaneki didn't like Nishio when he first met the guy. He was afraid he would eat his best friend. Kaneki himself couldn't believe he helped the guy out. He almost got killed because of that but lucky for him that Uta saved them all.

"I heard from Nagachika that you haven't been to school."

"Oh that."

Nishio didn't want to butt in Kaneki's life but he thought it was a waste for the boy not to attend school. The college they attend was famous and a lot of people try to get in but unlike Kaneki others were actually working hard.

"You're not sick."

"I think I know that myself."

"Since I'm waiting for you I don't mind hanging out with you." Kaneki didn't know how he felt about that. It sounded more like he wanted hang out with him but the way he said it pissed Kaneki up.

Two continued walk around the city. Going through stores. Nishio didn't buy anything while Kaneki actually bought a book that interested him in some store. It was a big book and Nishio couldn't understand why the book would even a book that big.

"You're going read that." He said in surprised tone. Nishio didn't like reading much, he couldn't deal with studying outside of the university when he had to do it in class.

The two stopped at some café and had some coffee.

"You're working hard aren't you?" Kaneki asked. Kaneki was referring to Anteiku the place that Nishio worked at.

"You could say that but that bitch is a pain in the ass."

"Who?" Kaneki asked.

"You know that girl."

"Touka-chan."

"She's always saying things that piss me off." Kaneki didn't understand why he was even listening to Nishio complain to him about things he wasn't interest in. "She should learn to respect her elders."

"Nishio-kun." Just then Kimi came up to the two. Kaneki was glad that she appeared. The girl then stared at Kaneki in surprised. She didn't expect to see fellow student from Kami here.

"Thank you for last time." She bowed her head. She shouldn't even thank him since he didn't do much.

"Kaneki you should come by the café since Hinami would like to see you again." Nishio said before walking away with Kimi and leaving Kaneki there alone. Kaneki watched the two from behind, Nishio looked way happier than he did before.

Just when he turn around he bump into somebody. He touched his face in pain. He then looked to who he had bump into and saw it was Touka and she was with Hinami.

"Kaneki-onichan." She spoke.

"Idiot watch where you're going!" Touka seemed like she was in a bad mood and he had a feeling it had to do with Nishio who he had just saw.

"What are you doing here onichan?" She asked.

"I was just doing some shopping." He said as he held out the bag in his hand.

"You bought a book." Hinami said in a happy tone. Hinami was like Kaneki they both loved reading. Hinami loved it more when she saw all the hard books that Kaneki read at the café.

"How is working with Nishio-senpai?" Kaneki asked direction his words to Touka and she gave him a glare but Kaneki didn't budge from her aura that she was giving off.

"I rather you work there then deal with that idiot." She said.

The old man's words were still in his mind. Sure he declined him but part of him actually wanted to go there. He didn't want to be alone and he felt he met some interesting people. He probably can't be the boy he used to be when his mother was still alive but he's still himself.

"Do you have work today?" He asked.

"Yes I do a bit later." Touka said.

* * *

Later Kaneki had made his decision and come to Anteiku to meet with the manager. He felt if he stayed at Anteiku he might find out what he supposed to do with his life.

"I'm glad you decided to come." Yoshimura smiled. Yoshimura was always glad to help a fellow ghoul and he thought Kaneki needed to be somewhere like Anteiku. He was half-ghoul and could eat food like a normal human but there was food that he couldn't eat like a normal full-ghoul.

Kaneki had come out with a waiter uniform. He found it strange wearing something like this but it was for the job. He also decided that it was time he go back to university and try to act like a human once more. He maybe be a ghoul but he still had his human half that he couldn't forget about.

And he wasn't going to let Rize take over that part of him.

Touka was pretty shocked to see Kaneki come out wearing a waiter uniform, as well as Hinami and others that worked there. When Touka said he rather work with he didn't think that the guy would actually come work at the café.

Hinami was glad that he could see Kaneki more now. She could talk to him about books.

That evening Yoshimura introduce Kaneki to a fellow ghoul and Uta's close friend. Yomo Renji didn't speak much but he knew a lot about the ghoul world. The old man had asked Kaneki to go with Renji to get food. Kaneki was sick to his stomach when he saw what they were going to do.

Kaneki didn't think about it since he was half and could live like a human but he didn't realize that ghouls also have to eat and its human flesh they eat. Renji had gotten some flesh from human that had died, well it was better than a live human but it still made Kaneki sick.

* * *

After helping with Renji the black-haired boy decided to go to where Uta was. His shop was always open for him. He thought he needed to tell Uta about what had happened. Uta was surprised that Kaneki had joined Anteiku. He acted shock but it looked like Uta had a feeling that Kaneki would join.

"You're getting along with everybody. Aren't you?" There was cold tone there but Kaneki thought it was normal and didn't keep that in mind.

Uta was a mysterious guy to Kaneki, There were things that he didn't know much about the man. Renji was his friend and even he didn't know much about the guy. Kaneki wondered how the two even became friends, it was hard for Kaneki to picture the two as friends but they were.

"Kaneki-kun would you like some coffee?" Uta offered.

"I would but I'll make some for both of us." Kaneki said. He had learned how to make simple coffee from Yoshimura and he thought he should thank Uta since he's always the one coming to the older man. He sometimes wonder if he is being bothersome to Uta.


	6. Attack

**Title : The Hearts Wants, What It Wants**

**Theme : horror/dark fantasy story**

**Pairing : Kaneki/Uta**

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**A/N Thanks for all reviews.**

* * *

**Chapter 6 - Attack**

* * *

Hide couldn't believe that Kaneki had started working at Anteiku. After saying that from his best friend Hide went there often to see Kaneki. He probably saw Kaneki there working then at the university. It was noticed by Kaneki what Hide was trying to do and he couldn't blame his best friend since he became so distance toward him.

"Well I have class to attend to." Hide said. He got up waved goodbye to his best friend and the others employee like Touka and their senpai. When they had continued to work Hide looked one last time at his best friend and then left.

"Is he a close friend of yours?" Touka asked.

"Yea. He's like family to me." Kaneki said. And that family was somebody that Kaneki didn't want to close. The reason he kept his distance was probably to keep Hide safe. When Hide come to the café it's no problem since he's safe.

"Do you have somebody like that too?" Kaneki asked.

"I guess I do." Touka replied. Touka then though of her best friend and classmate.

"Senpai don't you have to leave soon." Kaneki said. Nishio took a look at his watch and realize that Kaneki was right.

"Thanks for reminding me." Nishio hurried and changed into his casual clothes. He had a date with his lovely girlfriend.

"It's funny that you even have a girl friend." Touka commented on.

"I don't want to hear that from you!" With those last words Nishio headed out the door and headed to the direction he was going to meet Kimi.

Just then Hinami walked in through the front door. She looked a bit different looking so cute.

"Why are you dressed like that?" Touka asked. "It's kind of cute."

"No reason." She blushed.

"You look very cute." Kaneki said, which made Hinami blush. She was glad to hear such things from the two but mostly Kaneki since Hinami admired her onichan a lot.

"Did you come from somewhere?" Kaneki asked.

"Yea I just went out with Yomo-san." She said. Kaneki then noticed a book that she was carrying and from the looks it looked like she went to buy that with Yomo.

Speaking of Yomo. He wasn't somebody that Kaneki thought that highly of since he rarely talks but when Kaneki asked to get stronger the older man said he would train him. Kaneki was grateful to him for that.

"Another book?" Touka realize just how much of a nerd Hinami is just like a certain half-ghoul.

"You just insulted me didn't you?" Kaneki said looking at Touka.

"Of course not." Touka laughed.

"Ken there's somebody I want you to meet." Yomo had arrived at Anteiku.

"Somebody?"

* * *

"_Is this a bar?" _Kaneki didn't understand why they were at a bar. The bar was called Helter Skelter which said when they first entered the bar.

"So you're the infamous Kaneki-kun, are you?" The person Yomo was speaking was a woman that Kaneki was sure he had passed by one time while leaving Uta's shop. Speaking of Uta, he was also there.

"I'm so glad you came to see me." The woman named Itori was very lively person. "Ren-chan and Uta told me all sort of things about you. I'm Itori, the bar owner. Nice to meet you."

"Th-The pleasure is all mine." Kaneki didn't know how to deal with this kind of person. She talked a lot and was staring at him which made him feel uncomfortable.

"Oh relax, no need to be formal! Loosen up, Kanekicchi!"

"Um…how long have you guys known each other for?" Kaneki asked. Itori went on about how Uta and Yomo didn't get along at all and so on.

"Didn't you have something to tell him?" Yomo spoke.

"Ah, that's right." Itori then got a drink for Kaneki.

"I'm still underage."

"It's wine, silly." She said. Itori then threw the glass of blood at Kaneki and then took the eye patch off of the boy's eye. Kaneki's ghoul eye appeared red. "This is amazing I never seen a one-eye ghoul before!"

"Sorry about that." She said. Itori then handed the boy some coffee as apologize. She also gave Kaneki an towel to dry of his hair. Itori went on again but this time it caught his interest, she spoke about another one-eye ghoul. Kaneki wanted to know more so asked, then their talked changed when Kaneki asked about Rize the girl who made a mess of his life.

"I heard that when the accident happen that somebody was watching the whole thing." Itori spoke. This made Kaneki more interested. Yomo had to step in and stop Itori from talking about it more.

All this time Uta didn't speak much but he watched a confused Kaneki. The boy was thinking really hard about what he had found out.

That night when Kaneki got home. He couldn't forget his talk with Itori.

"Another one-eye ghoul like me, huh." Kaneki kind of wanted to meet another like him. He also wanted to know more about Rize since he knew nothing about her, she was the cause of all this in the first place.

Sometimes Kaneki would feel something horrible inside him that he can't stop. It's like the part of Rize but he won't let her control him. This is his body and he will do with as he like and won't anybody control it.

"If you're inside me then I'll just have to control you." Kaneki spoke but it was hard on his body. This usual happened often to the boy.

Kaneki was half-ghoul and could eat normal food but it didn't mean that those would help him. He wouldn't be able to survive without human flesh and he knew that very well but he tried to suppress it. He wasn't going to let Rize as she like.

"_Damn you!" _Whenever he thought about eating human flesh it made the boy sick to his stomach. He wasn't going be like those kind of ghouls. He shouldn't be saying that when he knew that people he had become friends with had no choice.

"I'm sorry." He felt sadden for saying something so hurtful. He couldn't help it since he was original a human to begin with. Sometimes he wonder what is a ghoul. Ghouls are just like human trying live in the world but human try to kill them off, he recalled the memories with Hinami's mother. He couldn't do anything to save her mother and ended up killing a human man. Kaneki felt sick but it made Kaneki wonder who really the bad ones are?

"I should get some rest." Kaneki went to his bed and closed as then he drifted to sleep. In his dreams, he saw his lovely mother. He was living with her and he was happy to be with her but then image changed to that of her death and cause was because of his aunt.

"You couldn't do anything for her." Rize appeared in his dreams. She had that smile on her face. She was right and Kaneki couldn't argue with her. "You wanted to be stronger didn't you?"

* * *

Kaneki woke up the next day not feeling well. He had a horrible dream and of all the things Rize had to appear and say the things he didn't want to hear. He knew that very well without her telling him.

Later that day Kaneki decided to go see Uta at his shop. He was there and making masks as usual.

"Is something wrong?" He asked when he saw that Kaneki looked a bit tired from his eyes.

"You could say something is." Kaneki said. The boy then explained about his dream and seeing Rize there.

"It kind of makes since she is part of you." He said. Uta was right but he didn't want to see her.

"I'll pour you some coffee." Uta said as he stopped what he was doing.

"I can do it myself." Kaneki said but Uta refused and continued. Uta came with cup of coffee for both Kaneki and himself.

"Thank you." Kaneki smiled.

"Coffee always makes things better." Uta smiled. He was right it always did. The coffee is the only things that ghouls can drink without getting sick but it wouldn't help that much compared to real flesh.

"You're looking a bit pale." Uta said.

It couldn't be helped since he hasn't had human flesh. To live he needed to have a little bit of human flesh but there was no way he was going to do that. Nobody knew about that condition a half-ghoul like Kaneki had.

"It's nothing." He smiled.

Kaneki liked being with Uta and talking to him compared to others. Uta was always nice to him and whatever he said Uta would listen to him.

"I hear that you been training with Renji." Uta said. "How is that?"

"It's alright. But he's a strict teacher." Then Kaneki's thought went to Touka, she was as strict too.

"Things are starting to get interesting." Uta said. Kaneki didn't understand what Uta meant when he said those words.

* * *

Later that day Kaneki went to Anteiku since he was working today. He arrived at Anteiku all ready for work but something was wrong when he got there. The place had been damaged and he saw Touka and others with injuries.

"What happened?" He asked.

"Ayato." Touka spoke a name that Kaneki didn't recognized.

"Kaneki-kun you're here." Koma said.

"What happened here?" Kaneki asked.

"Aogiri tree was here." Another name that Kaneki didn't know.

"Let me explain." Irimi then explained to Kaneki what happened. Kaneki didn't know that Touka had a brother and he was the cause of this and some others.

"They were looking for you." Koma said. "But of course we wouldn't let them have one of our family."

"_Family?" _Kaneki didn't think they thought of him that way but it made him happy.

"The manager isn't here."

"He had to do some errands but we called to let him know." Irimi said.

"Ayato." Touka speak that name again. Kaneki couldn't believe that somebody like her own family member would do something like this, to injure his own sister.

"Are you okay?" Kaneki bent down to where Touka was.

"Kaneki." She looked surprised. She was so deep in thought that she didn't realize when the one-eye ghoul had appeared.

"I have a feeling they will be back." Koma said.

"You may be right." The manager appeared at the doorway with Nishio. He helped everybody with their injuries.

"Why are they after me?" Kaneki asked.

"They probably know that a one-eye ghoul have been working here." The manager said.

Kaneki didn't know much of these things. Were one-eye ghouls like himself that important? He didn't think much of it but Itori did say there were others like him.

"For now let's clean this mess up." Yoshimura said.

Everybody fixed the place up like it hadn't even been attack by those Aogiri. This event concern Kaneki a lot. He didn't like that everybody got hurt and it was because of him. He wasn't there to protect them.

Suddenly Kaneki got an idea. Of course he wasn't going tell the manager or anybody about it. He wanted to protect them to do so he was going keep them out of it.


	7. White-haired Kaneki

**Title : The Hearts Wants, What It Wants**

**Theme : horror/dark fantasy story**

**Pairing : Kaneki/Uta**

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**Mr. Ghoul - It's nice to hear what you think might happen. I can't say much since it will spoil.**

**BlueRoseMidnight - Yea i liked that part of the anime and manga and i needed to put that part in. Most of the stuff i write are from there.**

**Thanks all for reviews.**

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**This chapter contains alot of the anime and manga. I'm not good at fighting scenes so i tried.**

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**Chapter 7 - White-haired Kaneki**

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Kaneki had done something that he would never do he went to where Aogiri hide out was with a little help from Itori. Itori didn't know that the black-hair boy was planning to go there so she felt bad. Everybody were upstairs in the lounge."

"He's not the type to get beaten easily." Nishio spoke with a serious tone. Nishio knew well since the guy did save his life.

"Nishio." Touka said. She didn't know that guy actually cared about Kaneki.

"Let's start this." Yoshimura spoke. The things he shouted everybody in the group, mostly Touka and Nishio since they were close to him more.

"Hey, gramps, what the hell are you talking about!" Nishio yelled, he's tone was very angry, he didn't like what the old man was telling them.

"Stop!" Touka called out to Nishio. With that said Nishio stared at Touka and then stopped his yelling.

"We're going, right? We're going after him, aren't we?"

"Aogiri is mad of up ghouls who bank their entire exist in fighting. Sneaking into their base to find Kaneki-kun won't be that easy."

"Noway…" Hinami didn't like the sound of that. She didn't like that she wouldn't be able to see Kaneki again.

"Not to mention that the CCG are on the move as well to deal with Aogiri. If we do go search for Kaneki. There's a good chance that we'll be the one exterminated instead.

"What? You're not thinking of abandoning him, are you?" Everything the old man said made Nishio upset.

"I'm going." Touka said. "What is our policy, again? Touka got up from her seat while looking at Yoshimura. "Manager, if you're not going…then I'll go alone."

"I'm going too." Nishio said. "I owe him after all." Nishio couldn't forget how Kaneki saved him, Kaneki wasn't the type to do those things but he did it.

"I want to help as well." Hinami spoke up. Kaneki had also saved Hinami's life. She couldn't forget everything that Kaneki had done for her and her mother even if she was no longer alive. "Onii-chan is always helping me out, so…If there's anything I can do, I'll do it!" She said while holding onto Touka's hand.

"Hinami."

"Let me say this, so there's no misunderstanding. I had plan to go after Kaneki-kun from the beginning, however I wanted to let you all know I can't guarantee the safety of anyone here. I understand how everybody feels here. If we go then you must places your lives on line like he has for you. And in return Yomo-kun and I will protect you with all our might." There was pause then Yoshimura spoke again.

"It is Anteiku's policy to help each other out, right." He smiled which made Touka smile in return. She was happy to hear that from the manager. "There's one more thing." Yoshimura looked at the door. "You may come in." He said.

Touka and Nishio were not happy to see such a sight. It was probably the person they never wanted to see ever again.

"You! Why!?" That guy was the root of his problems from the beginning.

"Amore!" Tsukiyama Shuu had appeared, he raised his hand up to know that he has entered. "Heartbreak! He was the same as ever.

The manager went to explained that they needed Tsukiyama's power to get into the base.

"I don't want him here. He has no intention of helping Kaneki." Touka was enrage. Of course she would since she had experience with him and it didn't turn out well. That time she went to save Kaneki but it turns out the other way when it was Kaneki who protected her instead.

"How are you even alive?" This was pissing Touka up. It wasn't just Touka. Nishio didn't like the idea either. "This guy just wants to eat Kaneki-kun."

"You don't have to worry about that." Yomo appeared in the room. "I'll look after him. He won't do anything on my watch."

"Kaneki." Touka had this sad expression on her face when she spoke his name. He hope he wasn't doing anything reckless.

* * *

Kaneki didn't think of his plan of action but when he saw one of the ghoul try to kill their own kind he stepped in. He didn't like the sight but because of it he wasn't in the best condition.

The ghoul that made Kaneki that way was a guy with blond hair and with Sharpe lizard eyes, his name was Yamori. He seemed to like torturing people, he didn't care if they had enough. He was sick and it made Kaneki sick.

The ghoul had manage to inject Kaneki with what was called a RC suppressants, making the one-eye ghoul weak and not able to move around much. Kaneki had come to take care of these guys for what they had done to his family in Anteiku, he didn't want them to be hurt ever again.

* * *

Anteiku members had arrived at Aogiri base. They had to cover themselves so they wouldn't be noticed. Uta had also joined to help. He couldn't believe that Kaneki would do something reckless. It seemed the boy had changed since working at Anteiku.

"Is something wrong?" Yomo asked.

"Nothing." Uta said. "Let's hurry up and find Kaneki-kun." Tsukiyama was in their group as well. Uta was the one who beat Tsukiyama when both Kaneki, Touka and Nishio were in trouble, he didn't like the guy much after that incident but they needed him.

There were a lot of ghouls around so they had to take care of them before others noticed them. It wasn't hard for them since they had a very strong group and could take care of them fine.

Uta was disappointed that the boy who always came to him didn't tell him anything. If he had maybe he could have done something.

"He's always does something that surprises me." He mumbled.

* * *

Kaneki was feeling weak and helpless, he couldn't do anything because of what Yamori had injected in him. The man was making him count numbers.

"I know what I'll do next, kill everybody at Anteiku. This upset Kaneki a lot, he didn't want them to hurt, he came here to stop that but he was helpless. What was he thinking when he came here alone. His head was low and down, he recalled his mother at that moment.

"Okaasan." He spoke. Suddenly the scene changed to white.

"Good morning." A familiar voice spoke. She sat bend down beside Kaneki.

"Rize-san? You're alive?"

"Things like that don't really matter now, do they?" She walked to the other side to Kaneki. "Tell me, Kaneki-kun. What kind of person was your mother like?

"You called me "mom'' just a moment ago." Rize said. "Is that her?" The scene changed once again. And she was the woman who gave birth to him. The one person he cared deeply for, his mother.

His mother was cutting some roses up, then little Kaneki came running toward his mother. Little Kaneki would ask his mother to help him with some kanji that he didn't understand. He went explaining those things to Rize. The scene changed and this time his mother had gone to work and Kaneki went to his father's room and read books, it was because of his father's love for books that he got into them even if he never met his father before he passed away.

Kaneki went talking how he didn't care about anything because he had his nice, kind and beautiful mother by his side.

"My mother used to say." The scene changed with young Kaneki. His mother had her hand on his right cheek. "Ken. It's okay to feel pain. Nice boys like you can find happiness despite all that.

"It's better to be hurt then hurt others." The scene changed once again with the current Kaneki. "Kind people are able to find happiness just like that. That's what she taught me."

"That's why you're in the mess now?" It's better to be then hurt others. "Have you been living your entire lives believing such lies?"

"Are you sure your mother was the kind and wonderful person you thought she was." The scene changed with Kaneki's mother giving who was Kaneki's aunt some money.

Kaneki remember it all clearly those times. His mother working day and night.

"But then…

"But then she overworked herself. And I was left alone, didn't have a place to call home." Kaneki thought that at the beginning but that changed when he met Hide, Hide was always there for him and was family to him. He was the next person he cared for after his mother.

"But you're going to lose him and it will be all your fault." Rize said. Kaneki didn't want didn't want to believe those words but she was right. The scene went back to Yamori torturing some ghouls he had tried to save. It was too late when Yamori killed them. The scene changed once again.

"It's…all my fault." He finally said it.

"It took you that long to realize it?" Rize said. "You'll sit there and blame yourself over and over, but that won't change anything. You don't try to change. It's your fault.

Everything Rize said was right, everything was his fault to begin with. Kaneki's thought went to the two that were killed and everybody at Anteiku, Hinami's mother who he couldn't save and the pain it caused the little girl. His mother who overworked and died and he couldn't do nothing, he had wished his mother had chosen him over anything.

Rize finally got Kaneki to understand what was right. She told him that the weak can't survive and that you have to be strong, strong to kill Yamori, his mother was weak that why she couldn't turn her resolve around. Rize held onto Kaneki with a smile. Kaneki's ghoul eye turned red from all this.

"Are you going to let Yamori get his way?"

"No…I won't!" He said with a serious tone. His mind was made up and he knew what he was going to do from now on. Rize let go of Kaneki and stepped back a bit.

"Your dear friend Hide and companion at Anteiku might expose to the same tragedy that happened here."

"I won't let that happen. I'll spare no mercy to anybody who tries to take my home from me."

The roses around the white scene turned red in each moment.

"Do you have that kind of strength?" Rize asked.

"Yes." Kaneki answered and more roses turned red.

"Are you saying you accept me?" Rize asked, her eyes turned into that of a ghoul now.

"No. I'm not saying that." Kaneki pined Rize down the ground. "I can suppress you anytime."

"Are you sure you're no making the wrong choice?"

"I'm not the one who's wrong. What's wrong is this world? The whole field of roses, flowers turned red and nothing white was left.

"That will do, Kaneki-kun." With Rize's last words Kaneki started to eat Rize.

Kaneki's hair color changed to that of white, Kaneki had blood on his mouth from eating Rize.

"I am a ghoul." He spoke.

Back to the scene with Yamori, Kaneki stayed still without moving and Yamori went on about how they will kill everybody in Anteiku. When Yamori leashed his kagune Kaneki got up and jumped from behind and attacked Yamori.

"That's a foul."

Yamori saw blood from side of his face and Kaneki wiped the blood from his lips.

"Wh- Y-ou…bite me?"

"Almost like the intestines of a fish on the verge of spoling."

Yamori used his kagune once again and attacked Kaneki. Kaneki dogged it and attacked Yamori in which Yamori grabbed the boy's leg but Kaneki twisted it and attacked with his other leg, after letting go his twisted leg went back to normal.

"You think something like that would hurt, after all I've been through?"

Yamori started to go crazy yelling at Kaneki but the boy stayed there standing with a smile on his face. Every time that Yamori attacked Kaneki dodged it. He wasn't even landing a punch on the boy. But Kaneki was able to punch Yamori in his stomach.

Even when Yamori got Kaneki the boy manage to come back standing which shocked the older man. Finally Kaneki leashed his Kagune with a smile on his face.

"Now…it's my turn." He smirked. The two attacked with both Kagune but it was Kaneki who hit Yamori and got him damaged then Kaneki which Yamori couldn't even land a hit on. Even when Yamori was down Kaneki stabbed him with his Kagune. Kaneki did the same thing that the man had done to him making him count numbers.

"You tried to devour me." Kaneki said. "So you won't mind if I eat you, do you?"

Uta had stopped dead in his tracks.

"What's wrong?" Yomo asked.

"I'm not sure but I think something is going down." Uta had a feeling it had to with Kaneki, something wasn't right, was it just him worrying about the boy or was it something else.

"Let's hurry and find the brat." Yomo said.

"Okay."

* * *

Touka had encounter her brother Ayato. It wasn't going good, she didn't want to fight him but it wasn't going that way. Even so Touka tried to fight her best she was no match for her brother.

"You're just like our father." Ayato said."

"Weak." The mention of their father made Touka recalled the memories she had with their wonderful father.

Ayato leashed his Kagune and ripped Touka's off which she cries in pain, she was in pain, but even so she called out her father which annoyed Ayato and made him attack but he didn't manage to attack her since Kaneki had come and rescued her.

"Kaneki." She said in his arms.

"I'm sorry, this is all my fault." Kaneki thought about it, it was his fault he went on his own leaving everybody behind without a word. His eyes looked sad and Touka could see that.

"Kaneki!" Nishio arrived and saw Kaneki and Touka and the girl wasn't looking so good.

"Take care of her for me." He said handing Touka to Nishio.

"What about you?"

"Don't worry about me." He said. Kaneki then wore the mask that Uta had made for him.

Kaneki went to face Ayato the brother of Touka.

"You shouldn't do that to your only family member." He said.

"Shut up!" Ayato attacked Kaneki was blocked by Kaneki's hand.

"Listen when somebody is talking to you." He said

A fight went on. Ayato realize how this guy seemed different from when they first encounter him. He was weak before and he didn't really care since Yamori dealt with him but he was still alive. As they fought Ayato couldn't land a hit on him which annoyed him. Ayato used his Kagune but Kaneki jumped and dodged him.

"Come on try attack me, you eyepatch bastard!"

"I can't do that."

"You half-assed bastard."

Kaneki then attacked with his Kagune and sent Ayato flying which damaged him.

"Therefore, Ayato-kun I will half-kill you."

Kaneki and Ayato went on with their fighting. Both damaging each other in progress. While so Kaneki figure it all out why Ayato was in Aogiri which annoyed Ayato. In the end Kaneki broke his bones in progress saying how this is nothing compare to what Touka had felt.

"You bastard!" Just then another ghoul appeared. He has a mask with a large lip.

"_He seemed strong, if he's in Aogiri." _Kaneki was going to attack but a hand stopped him. There were three people standing there. Yomo, Uta and Tsukiyama.

"Yo…mo-san..."

"Ken that's…enough…rest a little."

"Rest…? Why? I didn't even fight yet." Suddenly Kaneki's leg felt weak and he fell down on the ground.

"I…have to fight. More…more more more…"

"…Leave it to us Kaneki-kun." Uta placed his jacket over the boy assuring him everything would be fine.

"Uta-san." Kaneki said.

The three then looked at the enemy and was ready to attack. Everybody attack at different time. First was Tsukiyama then Uta put his through the ghoul then Yomo attacked and kicked his head off but then he started to come back to life.

In the end the fight didn't last and the ghoul took Ayato with him and disappeared.

Later Kaneki had told everybody that he had no plans to return to Anteiku, he had something to do. Which shocked everybody but Uta stayed calm.

"I can't return to school or home anymore."

"What are you saying?" Touka yelled.

"Uta-san, you don't mind me staying with you."

"It's alright." He said.

"_I want to protect everybody and to do so I must leave and get even more stronger.'"_

* * *

The days Kaneki started living with Uta. The boy was changed and didn't speak much, it was like before but he did speak to Uta more than anybody. He never told Hide anything and everybody at the university thought he went missing. Kaneki didn't even pay any visit to Anteiku, he had made up his mind.

It was strange to see the white hair on Kaneki but it didn't bother Uta. When at home Kaneki never wore the eyepatch. Uta noticed that Kaneki would sometimes stare off to space.

"_Get even more stronger." _Uta mumbled. He didn't mind having Kaneki all to himself. He couldn't wait to see what else the boy would show him.

"_Aogiri will come looking for him but for the time being I'll have him."_


	8. Chapter 8

**Title : The Hearts Wants, What It Wants**

**Theme : horror/dark fantasy story**

**Pairing : Kaneki/Uta**

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**Thanks for all the reviews and reading my story. Sorry for the late update but here it is finally. **

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**Chapter 8 - Thoughts**

* * *

Anteiku wasn't the same without Kaneki. Touka's mind always went the now white-haired Kaneki. Touka wished that she had said something that day that he left. Those words he said when he said he was leaving Anteiku still strike her hard. But that didn't mean she would be that hang up on him because of it. She had a life too and just because of Kaneki she wasn't waste it away. At first she was sad and didn't feel like anything but it all changed when the manager suggested her to study for University, the same University that Kaneki went to.

When she first visited the University because of Nishio. She wonder around alone since her soon to be senpai ran off to meet up with his girlfriend. Her thoughts went back to Kaneki thinking how he used to attend this University. That's when she saw a poster of the Kaneki he used to know. Black hair, innocent eyes, looking really kind. That's right to this people he had disappear, that's when she saw him, the best friend of Kaneki that she used to always see him with when they came to the café. Hide took the poster down, she looked and saw he had others in his bag. He must be worrying about Kaneki is what she thought.

Kaneki didn't go out much. He stay home hidden from the world. Sometimes Hinami would come over just to see him. She missed her older brother and would wish he would come back like the rest but it didn't seem like that was happening anytime soon.

Hinami would always tell Kaneki about her day with Touka and everybody. Kaneki would just smile and nod. He would listen but that was all, he didn't speak much like before. Hinami missed the old Kaneki but she couldn't say it. She didn't want him to be worried because of something he said.

"Are you hungry?" Kaneki asked. I can make you something to eat." Kaneki then recalled that ghouls others than half-ghoul like him can't eat normal food.

"Sorry I said something weird." Kaneki got up and made some coffee. That was the only thing ghouls could eat normal and that didn't have scent of blood.

"Onii-chan, I bought a new book when I went to the bookstore with Onee-chan."

"Is that so?" Kaneki smiled but Hinami knew that her brother was faking it. That smile wasn't like the one she had known to love anymore.

The sound of the front door opening was heard. Kaneki and Hinami knew that Uta was back from running his errands.

"Hinami-chan, you're still here." He said.

Hinami looked at her watch and saw that she had spent a lot of time with Kaneki without realizing it. It was starting to get late as well.

"I should hurry home or Onee-chan will get worried." She waved goodbye to Kaneki and Uta and walked out the door leaving the two alone.

"Are you okay?" Uta asked.

"Why wouldn't I be?" He smiled.

"When you say it like that I would worry." Uta patted Kaneki on the head. "Hinami been coming here a lot since she is worried about you and misses you."

"I know that."

"_What are you thinking?" _Even Uta didn't know everything that the boy was thinking. His mind was still thinking of things that he was unaware of.

Uta sat down and started making a mask. He still had work to do. Kaneki watched the older man do his work. Kaneki would always watch Uta when there was nothing else to do.

"Uta-san, I'm going out tomorrow." This surprised the man. Kaneki didn't go out much so hearing him announce that shocked him.

"Sure."

"Uta-san, I'm sorry that I'm being selfish like this. Even staying with you."

"It's not a bother."

"_It would be bad for you to be alone when you're like this."_

"I-I want to protect you and everybody who has taken good care of me. I also don't want Hide to know about this side of me and that's why I don't want to see him again."

"Kaneki-kun, I'm always here for you." Uta smiled and patted the boy's head softly.

Kaneki belonged to Uta that he was sure of. He would take care of Kaneki as long as he could while he was by his side. The change in the boy was different but it was also for the best, the boy was finally showing his true ghoul side that was hidden within.

"Uta-san, you're too kind to me."

"_You're not even going to ask me where I'm going."_

Kaneki got up from his seat and headed to the bedroom where the boy shared a room with the older man. He started to change his clothes and wear something different.

Kaneki didn't want to leave everybody but he had to. If he stayed with them he wasn't going get stronger and be able to protect them. Also he wouldn't find the answers that he was seeking for if he stayed with them.

"Kaneki-kun, are you going to be back late?" Uta poked his head in the room.

"I won't be late." He said.

Kaneki left the shop and Uta was alone. He continue to do his work but his thoughts were always on Kaneki. He wonder what the boy was thinking and where he had gone but of course he never asked. He wanted the boy to have his own space and free will.

"I hope you're not doing anything dangerous."

* * *

Kaneki walked through the city like a normal boy. It felt strange for the boy to walk every once and while. The city air was horrible as Kaneki remember. He recalled the first time he felt like that, it was the time when he first realize he had become a ghoul. That time he wanted to eat a lot and couldn't control his hunger but he manage to control it and even learn to eat normal food.

"Why did I decide to stay with Uta-san?" He didn't have the answer to that. He wanted to know, was because Uta was the kind man that wouldn't say no to him, or was it something completely different. Uta was somebody that Kaneki wanted to see a lot and wanted to stay by his side. The first time they met Kaneki was a bit creeped out but the man was not creepy at all.

Uta was looking at the clock, it hadn't even been long since Kaneki left but he was still worried about the young man.

"Uta." The door to his shop opened. He was sure he closed it so who has decided to barge in when he wanted a break from all the request he got. He looked toward the entrance and saw his fellow friend.

"It's you." Uta said.

"Sorry it's me." Yomo said.

"What brings you here to my shop?" Yomo isn't one to show up to Uta's shop unless it's something important.

"How's he doing?"

"I'm guessing you're talking about Kaneki-kun. He's changed from the boy we all used to know but he's still the same some aspect of him."

"What happened to him?"

"We all want to know but we were not there when he changed."

"I don't know if you're serious or just talking normal." Yomo said.

"You should know me."

"I do and this part of you hasn't changed since back then. Anyway I just wanted to know if he's okay." Yomo walked out the door without a wave of goodbye. The same old Yomo Renji that Uta knew from way back.

Right after Yomo left Kaneki arrived. Like the boy said he didn't come late. But something was odd about the boy, he was panting a lot.

"Did something happen?"

"Sorry, I was just running." Uta raised his eyebrow. He was sure the boy was lying but Uta didn't ask for anymore.

"You should go take a shower."

"I will." Kaneki walked toward the shower. Uta watched the boy enter the shower. His worried expression on his face wouldn't leave the older man.

"What are you hiding?" Uta sighed. He knew he would find out without the boy telling him. He didn't mind being silent.

When Kaneki came out the shower he came and sat beside Uta on the couch.

"Uta-san, About Aogiri?" It looked like Kaneki wanted to say something. "Never mind." Kaneki turned around and pretend to be interested in a book that was lying on the table.

Uta heard it loud and clear. Kaneki was interested in Aogiri Tree, the people that had kidnapped him and turned into something completely different.

"_What did he want to say?"_

"Kaneki-kun, I'm here for you." Uta without giving any warning to the boy pulled him into a tight embrace. This surprised the white-haired Kaneki. "I'm sure there are things you can't tell me or anybody else but just to let you know I'm here for you when you want to talk about it when the time is right." Those words made Kaneki really happy. Kaneki held onto Uta and embraced the older man back.

"Thank you." It was warm in Uta's arms. Kaneki felt safe and sound like there was nothing to worry about right now.

"_I'm glad it's you here."_

Kaneki had fallen asleep in Uta's arms while they had embraced. The older man carried the white-haired boy in his arms and toward their room. He placed the boy onto the bed. He was sure the boy was tired from all the panting he was hearing. He put the cover over the boy and before he left the room gave him a small peck on the cheeks.

"You don't realize what you're doing to me." Uta face was a bit red. He loved seeing the boy. He loved seeing this side of the boy that nobody else saw but he also felt guilty because he was also lying to the boy about something, he shouldn't when the boy was doing some lying of his own.

"I'll get a glass of water to drink then I'll go to sleep as well." So Uta said but he didn't go to sleep. He thought of Yomo. He looked worried, probably everybody else would be worried as well. But that was not why he didn't go to sleep right away.

The moment that Kaneki go home he could smell the slight scent of blood on him. It looked like Kaneki was trying to hide it by covering with another scent but Uta's nose still caught it. That is also reason why Uta suggested the boy to take a shower.

"Did you kill somebody?"

Uta always thought the boy couldn't kill until he saw him when the group rescued them when the boy got kidnapped. The half-ghoul wasn't the same person he saw before, white-hair with an expression that wanted to survive no matter what. He still wanted to fight even when he was tired and wounded.

Then the rumor floated that Yamori had died. Uta could only guess that Kaneki had killed him since that was the man who was with Kaneki is what the ghouls he killed said when they went looking for the boy.

Yamori was powerful and it's hard for a normal ghoul to beat him but the way Kaneki is now the boy could. He could kill many now but still the boy wanted to be even stronger. Uta didn't mind that at all the stronger the better.

Uta had enough of thinking about things on his own. He went to the bedroom. Kaneki was sleeping just like when he left the boy. Uta stepped into the bed. He stared at the sleeping boy beside him, Uta couldn't stop staring, and god the boy was just too cute. He wonder how they ended up sleeping together in the first place in which Kaneki didn't mind. Well Uta didn't have another room or bed so they really didn't have a choice but sleep together and the answer the boy gave him.

"_We're both guys so it's not a problem for me." Of course he would say something like that since he is a bit dense in that area. Uta didn't mind at all since he got to cuddle with his beloved._

"_Don't blame me if I do something."_

"_What do you mean?" The confused look the boy gave was so cute. Uta's expression was the same as always but still he was nervous around the boy sometimes even if he didn't show it._

"_You should really think of how others feel."_


End file.
